Bam Bam Bam!
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Ramaswamy jumps three inches into the air and looks around the bathroom. Its been exactly five seconds! What is happening? What is that sound? Is the world coming to an end? Did he develop magical powers? Has the bun transformed him within and without?
BAM! BAM! BOOM!
"Ramuuuu! Please open the bathroom ra! Its urgent ra! I can't hold anymore!
"Ayyio! I'm coming. Give me 8 seconds!" Ramaswamy quickly puts on his lungi. He looks at himself in the mirror above the wash basin and wipes off crumbs of the Bun. Nervously, he opens the door. He sees Mollimohanam standing there, sweating and jumping from one foot to the other.
"Thanks macha! I thought I would die only! I had too much cake, you know."
"Molli, do I look any different to you? Or does anything look any different to you? Or does anything seem any different to you?"
"Ramu, if you don't let me get in that bathroom right now there will be onnly one thing different and you won't like that a lot macha. For the sake of Bun please let me in!"
After entering the hall, Ramaswamy looks around to see if anyone is noticing anything different in him. But all he sees is 21 people relaxing after eating up all the cake. He coughs. They all look at him.
"Caught a cold in the loo eh Ramu! Come relax with us. It was such a bun filled party no?"
"I must tell you, the bun used in the cake was so wunnderful ya...I can't have enough of it!"
"Why are you looking like someone put a bun in your face Ramu? Come sit with us no!"
"Ramu! Do you have a spare Bun-iyan? I spilt cococola all over mine."
Ramaswamy stares at them in horror. What is happening? Why are all of them talking about buns only? What is going on?
He races back into the bedroom, dashes into a very tired Molli. "Ayyo Rama! Where are you bunning to so fast!"
Ramaswamy ignores him and runs into the bathroom, and looks at himself in the mirror. He doesn't see anything different. He wails out loud, "My Rama! What happened to me? Why is everyone talking about buns?"
Suddenly, he notices the frog in the basin. He looks at it, it looks at him. He looks at it longer, it looks at him longer. Then he points a trembling finger towards it. "Its you isn't it? I don't know how but you caused all this! Who are you? Why are you doing this to me? Tell me!"
The frog looked at him and laughed. "Muhahahahahahahahahaa!" "croak" "Muhahahahahahahaha!" "I am a representative of Burger Lord, the biggest Burger company in the world!"
"That's not true! MucDunnald is the biggest! Ask anyone!"
"Pah! Will you let me finish? BL has started on the biggest advertising campaign in the history of advertising campaigns. Whoever eats the Bun will start transmitting subliminal messages about the greatness of BL. You were our first test subject, and it worked! Muhahahahahahahahah!"
"But, but, the Bun spoke to me! How...How?"
"You idiot. I'm a ventri-croak-quist. A very rare sub-race among frogs. I can transfer my voice to any object around me! Now listen carefully. Very soon, all your friends will start craving for buns so much that if you do not get them to a BL outlet, they will DIE!"
"Ayyio, ayyio, what do I do? What do I do??"
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Season 1, Episode 6
Ramaswamy reaches his home on his katar-katar Bajaj scooter and finds that all his friends have left. He enters his living room to find a note kept next to his Matching Multi-coloured Chaddis Club's badge.
He reads, "Ramaswamy, forgive me. My silk chaddi-buddy, forgive me. I am feeling very guilty now. I hope you can take revenge! I will give you her yaddress. I hope you will yagree to see my face next time and not hold this against me. I have written the yaddress on the back-side of this page. You-ver friend, Mollimohanam."
"That scoundrel! I will make him pay. But he's my chaddi-buddy, I will forgive him."
Ramaswamy reads the address silently and immediately rushes out on his katar-katar scooter to find the house. After 48 minutes and 6 seconds, at exactly 23:40 he finds the house. It looks like a typical haunted house. The garden in not maintained, the porch is strewn with dried leaves and fallen twigs, but it looks like someone put them there. The door is half open. The lights are switched off. The dog howls, the owl hoots. There's the typical eerie silence. Ramaswamy walks towards the front door. He can hear his own footsteps. Ramaswamy reaches the front door, finally. He touches his bun in his pocket to make sure it's there.
Empty house, open door, eeire silence, something bad will happen!
After switching on the torch on his Nokia 1100, he enters the house. He finds the light switch, but, obviously, it doesn't work. Suddenly, he hears, "One two three!"
"Appy bud-day to you, appy bud-day to you, appy bud-day dear Ramu, appy bud-day to you!" The entire house is suddenly lit and Ramu sees 22 of his friends standing in a semi-circle in front of him with colgate smiles around a huge cake with 24 candles on it.
"Oooh, you guyz, thank you so much!! You scoundrel Molli! You tricked me once again! You should become actor ra."
Molli says, "My pleasure Ramu. You happy, me happy, we all happy."
The music starts, the party begins. Ramaswamy forgets about RBA.
After three hours of partying, Ramu goes to the bathroom to pee. He (with some difficulty) removes the bun from his pocket and carefully places it on the wash basin. As he is finishing his business, he hears a throaty, "Swamy, it's time." Ramaswamy looks around and finds a frog near the door. Ramaswamy picks up the frog and stares at it for 6 seconds, waiting for it to speak. "You fool, it's me. The Bun." Ramaswamy laughs nervously and drops the frog.
"It's time. Eat me", says the Bun.
"Whaaa...t? Me? *I* am the real Swamy? Me? Me me me?"
"I'm getting bored. Just eat me, will you? Something will happen 5 seconds after you eat me "
Ramaswamy says, "Yes master."
Ramaswamy looks at the bun for 2 seconds and gobbles it up in 5 seconds.
Tick, tick, tick. Three seconds go by.
Another second gone. What next?
He reads, "Ramaswamy, forgive me. My silk chaddi-buddy, forgive me. I am feeling very guilty now. I hope you can take revenge! I will give you her yaddress. I hope you will yagree to see my face next time and not hold this against me. I have written the yaddress on the back-side of this page. You-ver friend, Mollimohanam."
"That scoundrel! I will make him pay. But he's my chaddi-buddy, I will forgive him."
Ramaswamy reads the address silently and immediately rushes out on his katar-katar scooter to find the house. After 48 minutes and 6 seconds, at exactly 23:40 he finds the house. It looks like a typical haunted house. The garden in not maintained, the porch is strewn with dried leaves and fallen twigs, but it looks like someone put them there. The door is half open. The lights are switched off. The dog howls, the owl hoots. There's the typical eerie silence. Ramaswamy walks towards the front door. He can hear his own footsteps. Ramaswamy reaches the front door, finally. He touches his bun in his pocket to make sure it's there.
Empty house, open door, eeire silence, something bad will happen!
After switching on the torch on his Nokia 1100, he enters the house. He finds the light switch, but, obviously, it doesn't work. Suddenly, he hears, "One two three!"
"Appy bud-day to you, appy bud-day to you, appy bud-day dear Ramu, appy bud-day to you!" The entire house is suddenly lit and Ramu sees 22 of his friends standing in a semi-circle in front of him with colgate smiles around a huge cake with 24 candles on it.
"Oooh, you guyz, thank you so much!! You scoundrel Molli! You tricked me once again! You should become actor ra."
Molli says, "My pleasure Ramu. You happy, me happy, we all happy."
The music starts, the party begins. Ramaswamy forgets about RBA.
After three hours of partying, Ramu goes to the bathroom to pee. He (with some difficulty) removes the bun from his pocket and carefully places it on the wash basin. As he is finishing his business, he hears a throaty, "Swamy, it's time." Ramaswamy looks around and finds a frog near the door. Ramaswamy picks up the frog and stares at it for 6 seconds, waiting for it to speak. "You fool, it's me. The Bun." Ramaswamy laughs nervously and drops the frog.
"It's time. Eat me", says the Bun.
"Whaaa...t? Me? *I* am the real Swamy? Me? Me me me?"
"I'm getting bored. Just eat me, will you? Something will happen 5 seconds after you eat me "
Ramaswamy says, "Yes master."
Ramaswamy looks at the bun for 2 seconds and gobbles it up in 5 seconds.
Tick, tick, tick. Three seconds go by.
Another second gone. What next?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Season 1, Episode 5
Season 1
Episode 5
Ramaswami realised that, obviously, he's been tricked. KRS dam was a secure point that was now infiltrated by the enemies. They knew that his weakness was for hot women in red dresses, especially ones with hot voices. He smacked his head in distress. Ayyio! How could he have fallen for this? It was as obvious as falling for a bald man! Everyone knew that bald men were evil! How could he have done this? Now he had to explain himself to the actual people who wanted the RBA! He reached into his lungi pocket and pulled out (with some difficulty) his deadly bun. It looked just like another bun. It was round and brown and very edible. But only the true Swamy could eat it and not die the most horrible death. Ramaswamy knew enough to not even try to eat it. He just looked at it sadly and said, "Why didn't you tell me oh great bun? Didn't you warn me about the bald man? Didn't you warn me about him?" But he knew that the bun only replied to the true Swamy. He put it back (with some difficulty) into his pocket again and sat on a convenient looking rock waiting for the actual people who wanted the RBA. To while away the waiting time, he thought about the macha who pretended to die after eating the non-deadly bun with sambhar. As this thought hit him, he jumped up from his rock with a scream loud enough to wake up even the most sleepy class ans shouted: "Ayyyyyyiooo! It is he who caused this! It is he who pretended to die so as to distract me from the idea that a hot voiced woman can actually be real! Nooooooooo! Ramaswamiii! How could you do this??"
Episode 5
Ramaswami realised that, obviously, he's been tricked. KRS dam was a secure point that was now infiltrated by the enemies. They knew that his weakness was for hot women in red dresses, especially ones with hot voices. He smacked his head in distress. Ayyio! How could he have fallen for this? It was as obvious as falling for a bald man! Everyone knew that bald men were evil! How could he have done this? Now he had to explain himself to the actual people who wanted the RBA! He reached into his lungi pocket and pulled out (with some difficulty) his deadly bun. It looked just like another bun. It was round and brown and very edible. But only the true Swamy could eat it and not die the most horrible death. Ramaswamy knew enough to not even try to eat it. He just looked at it sadly and said, "Why didn't you tell me oh great bun? Didn't you warn me about the bald man? Didn't you warn me about him?" But he knew that the bun only replied to the true Swamy. He put it back (with some difficulty) into his pocket again and sat on a convenient looking rock waiting for the actual people who wanted the RBA. To while away the waiting time, he thought about the macha who pretended to die after eating the non-deadly bun with sambhar. As this thought hit him, he jumped up from his rock with a scream loud enough to wake up even the most sleepy class ans shouted: "Ayyyyyyiooo! It is he who caused this! It is he who pretended to die so as to distract me from the idea that a hot voiced woman can actually be real! Nooooooooo! Ramaswamiii! How could you do this??"
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Ramaswamy and his deadly buns IV
Season 1
Episode 4
Ramaswamy reaches the KRS dam on his katar-katar Bajaj scooter wearing his very special lungi. He sees a lady in red standing at the entrance and notices The White Official Letter in her right hand with the incription RBA on it. He realises what this is all about. He remembers what he had forgotten all this while. It was the moment of truth!
"Attchoo!" His train of thought is disrupted when the lady sneezes. He wants to finish this fast. He goes upto her (not too close because he's super sensitive to viruses that cause cold) and she says, "Do you have it?" He says, "Uh, aaf course medam! I have it with me all the time. But, you are not the regular one." She shows him the letter and says, "This proves my credibility." Convinced, Ramaswamy begins unwrapping his very special lungi and from the pocket of his silky chaddi, he removes a piece of metal with the inscription 'RBA' and hands it over to the lady. The lady looks pleased, "Thank... attchoo!" Ramaswamy says, "Between friends, there is no thank you, no sorry, baby!" "We are not friends. Wait for my next call. Goodbye Rams!"
Ramaswamy smiles.
"Tu meri adhuri pyasa pyasa tu..." Ramaswamy's phone rings.
"Hello. Who it is?"
"It's me", a dull voice says. "Come to KRS dam."
"But I'm already in KRS dam!"
"What?"
Lady in red, suuuper sexy hawt voice, the letter... Oh no! Ramaswamy realises he was tricked!
"What have you done Ramaswamy? You must bring it back. You must. The fate of the world lies in your hands."
"How.. what.. why..? Ayyyoo Rama Sita Laxmana!"
Lady in red, suuuper sexy hawt voice, the letter... Oh no! Ramaswamy realises he was tricked!
"What have you done Ramaswamy? You must bring it back. You must. The fate of the world lies in your hands."
"How.. what.. why..? Ayyyoo Rama Sita Laxmana!"
"Your buns Ramaswamy, use your buns wisely." The voice begins to break.
Ramaswamy and his deadly buns III
Season1
Episode 3
Ramaswamy says, "How could this stupid chap die on us yaaaa?" Mr. Dead Macha's best friend starts to cry,"Who would want to kill him?? Who will hold my hand now?"
All of them start tearing apart the buns and examining them. There is complete silence...complete concentration. Could the food have been poisoned? Was the poison meant for our beloved Ramaswami? Suddenly...
Hahaha! Bun in your face!!!
Ayyyo What is this??? Mr. Dead Macha is not so dead any more!
April fools you peoples are!
Ramaswami becomes red in the face. Full angry he is! And then... his phone rings..TRING TRING..a very very sexy...suuuper hawt voice says, "Rams...come to the KRS dam right now you sweet boy!"
Ramaswami is perplexed! "Who are you?", he screams. "Why should I come?", he yells. Then, the very very sexy...suuuper hawt voice replies, "Eh macha please da don't do this to me! Just come no!" (courtesy Krupa) After hesitating a little Ramaswami agrees. He changes into his very special lungi and walks out of the door leaving all his friends to wonder to whom the suuuper hawt voice belongs to!
Episode 3
Ramaswamy says, "How could this stupid chap die on us yaaaa?" Mr. Dead Macha's best friend starts to cry,"Who would want to kill him?? Who will hold my hand now?"
All of them start tearing apart the buns and examining them. There is complete silence...complete concentration. Could the food have been poisoned? Was the poison meant for our beloved Ramaswami? Suddenly...
Hahaha! Bun in your face!!!
Ayyyo What is this??? Mr. Dead Macha is not so dead any more!
April fools you peoples are!
Ramaswami becomes red in the face. Full angry he is! And then... his phone rings..TRING TRING..a very very sexy...suuuper hawt voice says, "Rams...come to the KRS dam right now you sweet boy!"
Ramaswami is perplexed! "Who are you?", he screams. "Why should I come?", he yells. Then, the very very sexy...suuuper hawt voice replies, "Eh macha please da don't do this to me! Just come no!" (courtesy Krupa) After hesitating a little Ramaswami agrees. He changes into his very special lungi and walks out of the door leaving all his friends to wonder to whom the suuuper hawt voice belongs to!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Ramaswamy and his deadly buns II
Season 1
Episode 2
Ramaswamy quickly points his deadly bun at all the seven dangerous looking men (simultaneously, yes!) and says, "Hands hup, I say!" Fearing for their lives, all the seven dangerous looking men put their hands hup and all the seven dangerous looking men's lungis fall off their waists to reveal multi-coloured silk chaddis! Ramaswamy puts his deadly bun back in his lungi's pocket (um, yes, Ramaswamy's special lungis have pockets) and laughs and checks his own chaddi's colour to show us that they are all members of the Matching Multi-coloured Chaddis Club.. "Ayyo! My chaddi dosts! Can't show chaddi first?" Hahaha, all the seven dangerous looking men laugh. Ramaswamy goes in and gets his fresh aromatic ordinary buns and they all dip them into the buckets of steaming sambar and have breakfast together!
But, after egg-zactly 6.7 seconds one of the seven dangerous looking men shrieks and falls dead! What has happened?!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Ramaswamy and his deadly buns
( WARNING: read only when in a silly mood)
SEASON 1
EPISODE 1
He stirred slowly...the sun's rays starting to light up his room. He found his hand on something warm, so warm and soft...and the aroma that escaped it brought an effortless smile upon his face...Buns!!! Fresh buns for breakfast :) (Note, these are not his deadly buns but ordinary ones) Just then he saw a shady shadow (:p) lurking outside his window! Could that be Manly Murukan??? Could he possibly know that Ramaswamy had been carefully following his every move for a week now???
Ramaswamy quickly grabs his deadly bun ( the powers of which are unknown but rumours have it that when unleashed, it's results are DEADLY) and crawls up to the window. He slyly peeks out of it...The door bursts open! Seven dangerous looking men in camouflage lungis and buckets of steaming sambar surround our hero...Will he escape safely??? Will he survive this unexpected attack? Stay tuned to find out :)
SEASON 1
EPISODE 1
He stirred slowly...the sun's rays starting to light up his room. He found his hand on something warm, so warm and soft...and the aroma that escaped it brought an effortless smile upon his face...Buns!!! Fresh buns for breakfast :) (Note, these are not his deadly buns but ordinary ones) Just then he saw a shady shadow (:p) lurking outside his window! Could that be Manly Murukan??? Could he possibly know that Ramaswamy had been carefully following his every move for a week now???
Ramaswamy quickly grabs his deadly bun ( the powers of which are unknown but rumours have it that when unleashed, it's results are DEADLY) and crawls up to the window. He slyly peeks out of it...The door bursts open! Seven dangerous looking men in camouflage lungis and buckets of steaming sambar surround our hero...Will he escape safely??? Will he survive this unexpected attack? Stay tuned to find out :)
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